We Change, We Wait
by teachmetobeshy
Summary: For once I trusted my instincts; they had led me back here to Seattle when my world had fallen apart in New York. I just had a feeling about being here. Tonight was only the beginning but I already knew that I wouldn’t be leaving home anytime soon.
1. We Change, We Wait

Hi everyone! Just a quick author's note before we start off. First, I'm not Stephenie, nor am I making any sort of profit from this story other than my own obsessive delight with the characters. You'll quickly realise that this is an AH story, with a very out of character Bella. Don't worry, I will be including some of the traits we know and love about her and our other Twilight loves. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it, so please R&R.

**We Change, We Wait  
**

It had been nearly two years since I had stepped foot in Seattle. One of the things I love about this city is that it constantly changes, but the things you love, the parts that irrevocably make it your home are always here, waiting for you to stumble upon them. And stumble I did; but for once it was only into the doorway of my sister's apartment in my haste to avoid the starting rain. I managed to catch myself on the frame, letting go of my luggage and settling the spare key in the palm of my hand rather than in between my teeth. I paused for a moment, finally taking in my surroundings. The apartment was dark; no lights or sounds other than the light rain on the glass windows and my shallow breathing. I sighed loudly and grabbed my suitcase – this was the problem with my attempting a surprise for Rose, I tried to surprise her with my arrival on a Friday night. Most people socialised on Fridays, and while I had come out of my shell over the last few years, I still sometimes forget these details about everyone else.

_Maybe I should have gone to Jasper's? No, that wouldn't have worked out any better._

I knew there was a spare room up the hall so I took my two suitcases to where I would be staying and dumped them easily. It had been depressing, leaving New York and knowing I could fit everything of value into two suitcases, but my desire to leave the city and come home had been too great so I hadn't had the chance to think on it much. Not wanting to ruin my night, I refused to let those thoughts plague me just yet, and I went into the kitchen, looking for some juice. Rosalie's kitchen was something I knew was hardly ever used, considering I was the cook out of our trio. Rosalie and Jasper Hale moved to Forks during my sophomore year of high school. They made everything about my move from Phoenix bearable, and we became fast friends. I can remember exactly the moment they each became my best friend in their own right, and the moment I considered them to be my family, the siblings I never had. We always referred to each other as such, and it still brought a smile to my face, knowing I could count on both of them to always be there.

Shaking myself out of my musings, I poured my juice and was about to return the carton to the fridge when I saw the bright pamphlet on the counter. It was for the opening of a new club downtown, which happened to be tonight. This was definitely something Rosalie would go to, and before I even had the chance to think about it, I was heading back to my room, already internally sorting through the few clothes I had as to what I could wear. After searching for another five minutes, I found the black dress I knew would be perfect. It was my favourite dress, and I tried to save it for occasions I would really need it. I was already stepping out of my damp clothes and finding appropriate underwear as I thought about how good this move was proving already. Two years ago I would have never done anything like this; spontaneously chased the possibility that my sister was out at some club and thought it was the perfect night out. I wouldn't have been thinking about what I should do to touch up my makeup for the night or which suitcase my hairdryer was in.

But these were the thoughts racing through my head as I zipped up the back of the dress, the soft material falling onto my curves softly, like ink flowing over my snow white skin. The straps were flat and thin along my shoulders, emphasising my collarbone. The front of the dress crossed over, showing ample amounts of cleavage, but still leaving something to the imagination. The dress tucked tightly underneath my breasts with the skirt flowing outwards, not too much and not too little, enough to look slim rather than puffy, but still spin in a circle like a little girl. I love this dress because I felt fantastic in it, like it was my own skin. It reminded me of my newfound confidence; courageous and carefree. Feeling really good about the evening, I quickly turned to my hair and makeup, settling for my curls to hang down my back and my makeup to be a bit darker, giving the outfit the appropriate edge. I smiled at the picture I made; Bella Swan, about to go out into the world on her own for the first time doing exactly what she wanted, was actually going to enjoy herself on a Friday night in her hometown. What **had** the world come to?

I couldn't find an appropriate pair of shoes. My Manolo's should have been in the suitcase, but I was devastated to realise I couldn't find them. Realising I would have to mourn the loss of my shoes later, I ran to Rose's room to find a pair that would match my outfit. I found some gorgeous black patent leather peep toes that were perfect and I sighed as I slipped them onto my feet. I grabbed my clutch purse, throwing ID, cash and lip gloss inside, noting I wouldn't need anything else. I had my phone in my hand and was dialling the number for a cab, picking up the pamphlet with the address on it as I left, stepping outside into the cool Seattle night air.

It didn't take long for a cab to arrive, and luckily the rain from earlier had passed. It was late September and soon the rain of Washington, which was generally a year-round occurrence, would be settling in for good soon, heading into the snow of winter. I knew it would be cold out, but I didn't feel like carrying a jacket around a nightclub, so I figured I could get away without one at least for tonight. Dancing in a crowded club and cocktails would certainly fix up any problems I was having with the temperature. I smiled a little at the thought, letting my head fall back onto the seat as I stared out the window into the night. It truly seemed like a lifetime since I had been here, and in so many ways it had been. I was a different person to the shy and socially inept girl who left to work in New York two years earlier. I was offered a job for a newspaper writing editorials and features, mainly about anything that fell into the realm of entertainment, but occasionally my minor of political science and love of modern history were put to good use and I would write about the Middle East or Barack Obama. I loved everything about my job. I loved living in the Village and the fact that I could be awake at obscure hours of the day, usually researching a piece, and find that the city was still full of life. No, my job had been one of the greatest experiences of my life, one I wouldn't change for anything. Not even to avoid the reason I had left.

I realised tears were starting to form in my eyes and I blinked them away rapidly, trying to avoid ruining my makeup. I didn't want to think about why I left, not yet. _Focus on the positive_, I told myself quietly, and I took a deep breath, trying to do just that. When I realised I had to leave, I knew now was the best time to start work on something I had been planning for a while now. I wanted to have my own magazine, and for so long the dream had seemed impossible, until one of my boss' agreed that I would be wasting my potential if I didn't go through with the plan. So I started investigating; searching for details such as location in regards to the content I would want to include. Seattle increasingly seemed like the perfect choice. Somewhere that had its own scene, different from many other major cities, but close enough to places like L.A. and Vancouver so I was in the perfect position to travel for any major events in the entertainment industry. Plus it had the benefit of Jasper and Rose, so it was a win-win.

The cab pulled up out the front of Mirage and I sighed quietly. Who would have thought my life would be starting again in the one place I never thought I would come back to? I glanced quickly at meter and paid, before I stood out onto the sidewalk. The lines to get in were huge, and it seemed that only a few standout beauties, people nearly as beautiful as Rosalie, were being allowed in. Knowing that while I would never fit into that category, I still had a secret weapon to avoid waiting in line. I usually took this purse out while on assignment, and as such kept a spare press pass from the paper in it, just in case. Knowing that who I was, a significant name in the press for this industry, would get me in I smiled easily, swearing to myself that one day I would be able to do this based on the success of my own magazine. The bouncer took one look at my pass and a glimmer of recognition flitted across his face. Looking directly at me he grinned easily and let me through the red rope.

"I don't know whether you recognise me, but I'm actually an actor – you reviewed a movie I was in a few months back, 'Everything Stands Still', I was –" I cut him off quickly, having realised exactly who he was.

"Yes I remember, you were Finn! It was an amazing piece, and your acting was incredible, especially for your first feature film. Are you based here in Seattle?" His voice was softer than most bouncers I had encountered, and I knew that if I hadn't of picked him for an actor straight away, the moment he started talking I would have realised.

"Yeah, I have a friend in L.A. that I stay with while I'm filming, but I live in the city so in between shoots I usually pick up work like this cause it's pretty easy. Hopefully I'll see you on my next project Miss Swan; have a good night." I smiled and wished him the same before I entered Mirage. Taking in my surroundings I noted the long bar with plenty of staff, working both quickly and skilfully. The dance floor was packed, having a stage large enough for not only a DJ but a band. There were numerous podiums filled with laughing friends and affectionate couples, and a large glass window overlooking the lights shining across the bay. Upstairs had booths and tables, far enough away from the volume the people were able to have conversations and actually hear each other, and I was suitably impressed. Not sure where I would find Rose, I figured I would order myself a drink before I started my search.

The staff were clearly efficient, and I didn't have to wait long to be served. I was resting my forearms on the counter a face I hadn't seen since University met my own in surprise.

"Bella?" Kate's voice was exactly as I remembered it, and I grinned easily at her, each of us leaning over the counter to hug as best we could manage.

"How are you Kate?"

"I'm absolutely great Bella! Are you visiting your Jasper and Rose? Neither of them said anything."

"I'm actually moving back here, and I've come to just surprise them with it. Do you know where I would find them in this?" I gestured at the expanse of the club and Kate grinned easily and gestured upstairs to a private booth. Figures Rose would expect the best, having an inside connection through Kate and all. It was only then I realised what my friend had been doing while we were chatting.

"You're making me a mojito." It was a statement, because we both knew there was never really any question.

"Just reminding you of one of the many reasons you will have to stay put this time. No one makes you a mojito as well as I ever have." I went to get out my cash, but she waved her hand in a no comment like gesture.

"Your money is no good tonight, we're celebrating. Go find Rose and Jas, and I'll be up when my shift is over."

I gave her a quick thanks and turned away from the bar, suddenly desperate to see the two people I loved most in this world. In my hurry I bumped into someone, and almost momentarily had a return of my usual clumsiness, had said person not grabbed my waist to steady me. I looked up to see the most startling green eyes looking at me in concern, amusement and lust? His eyes had raked over my face, and once determining from my expression that I was fine strayed automatically down, looking at every inch of me. If anyone else had done something like this I would have been disgusted, but oh God this guy was attractive. Messy bronze hair and the most gorgeous smile I had ever laid eyes on, I couldn't help but examine him as well, my eyes dropping to the black buttoned dress shirt and mossimo jeans he was wearing. All this time and his hands still held my waist, sending sparks of electricity through my veins, and making me tingle all over. His hands were warm and strong, his grip on me tightening as he realised I was looking at him the way he had been me. I realised suddenly that I wouldn't want to leave this spot, had it been any other day. But it wasn't any other day, and I needed to find my family. Smiling softly, I let my free right hand rest on his left one briefly before extricating myself from his grip.

"Thankyou for catching me, sometimes my clumsiness just catches up with me."

"Anytime, the pleasure was all mine. Maybe I'll see you later?" He seemed nervous, wringing his hands a bit in anticipation of my answer. It was possibly one of the most endearing things I had ever seen.

"I'm on my way upstairs now to meet with some friends, but I'm hoping you will." I could hear both the playful flirting and seriousness of my voice, both scaring me a bit. Until he spoke in that musical voice of his again, that is.

"Until later, then."

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed the back of my palm. I felt my eyes close involuntarily and my toes curling appreciatively. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. Knowing I needed the upper hand again, all I did was turn and walk away, even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me to stay, because that fire from his hands on my skin was incredible. But for once I trusted my instincts; they had led me back here to Seattle when my world had fallen apart in New York. When I had seen the pamphlet in Rosalie's apartment I just had a feeling about tonight, about being here, that it would all turn out well in the end. It was only the beginning but I already knew that I wouldn't be leaving home anytime soon.


	2. Heartbeats

**Author's Note: Hey guys, so sorry this chapter took so long. Life and preparing to go start uni for the year just got in the way of writing sadly. I was ready to put this chapter up a few days ago now, but I'm sure you're all aware of 's technical difficulties by now. So here is chapter two, and the usual disclaimers apply. Not Stephenie Meyer, not making any profits from this story, etc. ENJOY! And as always I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please R&R.**

_One night to be confused_

_One night to speed up truth_

_We had a promise made_

_Four hands and then away_

_Both under influence_

_We had divine scent_

_To know what to say_

_Mind is a razorblade_

**Heartbeats**, The Knife

**...**

It wasn't hard to spot Rose upstairs – all I had to do was follow the crowds of men not so subtly staring at a booth that, among other things, held one of the three reasons I came home. Suddenly I didn't care about making an entrance or maintaining a surprise. I missed Rose; she was my sister and best friend, and I needed her more than anything. I walked quickly over towards the table. As I approached I could see a really tall guy with some of the biggest muscles I've ever seen. He had curly hair and a huge grin on his face, lighting up his eyes. The girl that was sitting next to him was comically short in comparison, his absolute opposite. Almost pixie like in character, she had fine features and strikingly bright eyes with short spiky black hair. Her laugh was like bells trilling above the thumping music, and it sounded sweet to my ears. But I honestly only had eyes for one person.

Rose was gesturing wildly in a way she had always done since high school. It brought an involuntary smile to my face, and I couldn't care less about how stupid it must have looked to everyone watching me grin like a maniac as I wandered through the crowd closer to my best friend. The closer I got the easier it was to make out Rose's voice.

"I just don't like surprises at all! I shouldn't walk in the door at work and hear the words 'I have a surprise for you' come out of someone's mouth. Nothing good ever comes of that" Rose spoke laughing. Seeing my opportunity to surprise her, I stepped up beside the booth smoothly.

"So you didn't really like the M3? You should have said something Rose." I watched her head spin round quickly, and for one moment her eyes met mine and we just took each other in. I don't remember how long we were both stuck like that, but soon she swooped up and had me in her arms and we were both laughing. A sob somehow worked its way into my chest but I choked it down and held onto her tighter, just letting the feel of her wash over me for a moment. I had missed her so much it was painful.

"Oh I've missed you, Bells."

"More than anything, Rose."

We both stood back and looked at each other, just holding on at arms length. Suddenly I couldn't help myself but grin, which she happily returned.

"How long are you here for? And how did you know I'd be here?" I laughed quietly, same old Rose – straight to the heart and soul of the matter.

"Well I'm here for as long as you and Jaz are, and I went to your apartment first, found the flyer, got dressed and caught a cab. I ran into Kate at the bar and she said you were up here. Not that it isn't great to see you, but where's Jasper?" I looked around quickly. No, I hadn't missed him anywhere nearby.

"He's down at the bar with Edward. You must have just missed him. But they'll be back any moment. Come on, come sit down and meet our friends." We headed into the booth and I slid in beside Rose. "Guys, this is Bella. Bells these are Emmett and Alice Cullen."

Even though I had been in New York, I knew who these two people were. I had never met them before today, nor even known their last name. But I knew that Alice was Rose's best friend, and Emmett was her oldest brother. He and Jasper had become friends, along with Emmett's younger brother. They had formed an inseparable group, and I was envious at the obvious devotion they all held for one another.

"It's nice to finally meet you Bella." Emmett smiled widely at me, his booming voice carrying around the floor, but he made me laugh and I returned the smile fully.

"The both of you as well; I've heard so much about you both from Rose and Jaz, it's great to finally see you in person."

"Will you be in Seattle long?" Alice was bouncing around in her seat excitedly, and I couldn't help but instantly like her.

"For as long as Rose and Jasper are here, I'll stay. I'm moved for good." She clapped her hands gleefully and I laughed at her reaction.

"I'm so excited I'm going to have another best friend, we will have to go shopping tomorrow, it's going to be so great!" I laughed out loud at this, and turned to Rose and Emmett.

"Is she always like this?" They knew I was joking though and laughed along with me.

"Absolutely." They answered in unison and suddenly we were all laughing.

"I'm so glad you're here, don't get me wrong Bells, but why on earth did you leave New York?"

Internally I sighed. I had never told Rose or Jaz the truth about my personal life in New York, knowing they would both try to protect me, try to fix things themselves, and part of the reason I needed to get away before was so I would have the opportunity to look after myself for a change. Not that I willingly got myself into a bad situation just to prove I could, not at all. I just seemed to be a danger magnet, and I wasn't ready to talk about what happened, for risk of letting myself fall into that black pit of despair that quite nearly consumed me.

"There's an opportunity for me to start working on the magazine, and I was able to pick where I wanted to be for the long term. Where else did you think I was going to go?" The thing was that was true in itself. Now just wasn't the time to get into the other, more complicated and more intense reasons behind my decision to move back home, to the other side of the country and as far away from New York as possible.

"Are you serious?!" Rose looked like she was about to explode with happiness, as she and I had been talking about this dream of mine for a long time. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Why didn't who say anyth-" It was Jasper's voice that answered, but the moment I whipped my head around he stopped speaking, and I literally jumped out of the booth and into his waiting arms.

The thing with Jasper is that he is always my brother first and my best friend second. Not that Rose loves me any less, but she and I can easily fall into the best friend routine. Jasper and I are so connected it's scary. He would do absolutely anything for me, and I him. Growing up I had always taken on the role of parent for both of my own parents. Living with Renee I always had to be the adult in our household, and if I thought any of that would change when I moved in with Charlie I was mistaken. I'll give that Charlie was a bit more of an active parent, but at the same time that was more his insistent desire to protect and often baby me. He wasn't exactly practical when it came to looking after himself or someone else, having lost that ability after his and my mom's divorce all those years ago. Jasper is someone who looks after me, and looks after me first. I think that's always been part of the reason I love him so much; he's always known exactly what I needed without ever having to ask. So being in his arms I felt safe for the first time since... well, it's not something I can think about now, because if I do there is nothing that will stop me from breaking down and crying hysterically, and I _just can't_ do that, not again, not now.

So let my head fall into the crook of Jasper's neck, my arms wrapped underneath his and I felt safe, I felt like I was home. I focused on his breathing rather than my own pain, and eventually I felt calm again. It was only then that I realised Jaz had been whispering into my ear the entire time, choruses of 'it's okay, you're going to be okay' and 'I love you' over and over. This is the reason I came home. I needed this. We eventually pulled apart and Jasper smoothed back my hair as he looked intently at my face, searching for some sort of sign, I wasn't quite sure of what exactly. Eventually he sighed and leant forward, kissing my forehead.

"You better be here for good now. I can't take it if you leave me again." He said it so softly only I could hear him, but it wasn't the southern drawl still prominent after all these years that made me melt this time, it was his words and the obvious truth behind them clear in his eyes. I nodded, unable to form words accurate enough to convey just how much it meant being back here with him, but I could tell he knew.

Finally I let the world around me fall back into focus, and turned my attention back onto the group. I froze when I saw a familiar head of bronze hair next to Emmett, and the startling green eyes of my earlier casualty. I had ran into the most attractive guy I've ever seen on my way from the bar earlier, even managing to get in some quick flirting before we parted. Of course it's both my good and bad luck that I am running into him already. Just looking at him made me remember the feel of his hands around my waist and I started to feel dizzy from the intensity of his gaze, so I sat down quickly. Tearing my eyes away from his, I looked around the group and thanked everyone I could mentally think of once I realised neither Jasper or Rose had noticed the passing moment. However when my gaze fell onto Alice I realised she had, if the small but prominent grin on her face was any indication. She passed me a look that clearly said we would talk later and I nodded slightly in agreement before falling back into the conversation around me.

"Bella, this is Emmett and Alice's brother Edward. Edward, this is Bella."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person. You're pretty infamous among our group, from the amount Rose and Jasper talk about you." I grinned easily, unable to keep any sort of calm demeanour around him because his smile was just... dazzling.

"Well the sentiment is mutual, because you guys are all I hear about from both of them as well."

The conversation seemed to flow on from there. I discovered that Emmett was a personal trainer and co-owned a gym in the U-District, Alice was an aspiring fashion designer & Edward was starting his residency at UW Medical Center. Edward had just moved into a new apartment in the same building as Jasper's, and Alice was looking for somewhere to live currently. I was constantly peppered with questions about my job in New York, the magazine I wanted to create and my life in the big city, and I somewhat successfully managed to dodge answering questions about my personal life without making either of my siblings suspicious.

Time continued to pass and eventually Kate turned up to our table with another round of drinks to celebrate my homecoming and, as she pointed out quickly, the end of her shift. Kate and I had become fast friends at uni, having similar dreams for our futures. I had missed her while I was in New York, but kept in contact with her almost as regularly as I did both Rose and Jasper. The fact that the three of them have stayed a part of each other's lives helped too though.

As the night wore on I couldn't help but be slightly fascinated with Edward. The way his laugh sounded, and how he would occasionally shoot surreptitious glances my way before running a hand through his hair, dishevelling it even more. How intelligent he was, but not remotely conceited abut this fact. He would easily joke around with Emmett, who was truly a giant teddy bear, as well as have in-depth conversations with Jasper, who was one of the smartest people I had ever met. I tried to distract myself by getting to know Alice a better and catching up on both Rose and Kate's lives, which was mostly successful. However when Edward's eyes would catch my own I couldn't stop my breath catching in my throat every time. I don't think I have ever had such a strong reaction to someone before. It was something I would have to think about in the future, but not right now. Not tonight.

"Hey Bella, where are you living now?" It was Emmett's voice that interrupted my musings and for a moment I didn't respond until my mouth finally caught up with me.

"Uh, it was sort of a spontaneous decision to leave NY, so I just packed what I wanted and flew back. I left my stuff at Rose's before coming here. I'll have to start looking at places to rent come Monday." Alice was bouncing in her seat and I shot her a curious look.

"Oh Bella, I'm looking for a place too, we should consider living together, it'll be fantastic, I know it." I was smiling at the thought when I was interrupted by Edward's voice.

"How come you only packed what you wanted?" I shot him a startled, scared look before I thought to compose myself.

"I learned to be a minimalist; saving everything you earn so you can start working on your dream earlier in life is hard. So I don't have a lot of stuff." I shrugged, the lie coming easily off my tongue.

"Well that's going to change come tomorrow Bella. We need to celebrate your return and our house hunting expedition, so we can start thinking of decorating ideas and furniture as well as clothes." I let Alice take over the conversation, once again steering everything away from my personal life and the reason why I left New York. It's not something I could get into easily, and not something I was ready to talk about now. Nevertheless, I needed to do something that was unavoidable, so I had to bring up part of it with Alice later in the evening.

"You wouldn't happen to know a good doctor at all, would you?" She looked at me curiously before answering; both of us making sure the rest of the group were distracted beforehand.

"Other than my brother, you mean?" At my nod, she continued in the same quiet tones. "Our father Carlisle is a doctor, working in Port Angeles. If you don't mind the drive, you could go see him and he could at least refer you to someone closer to the city if you like?" Something from earlier finally clicked in my brain and I gasped.

"Carlisle Cullen is your father?!" I asked, awe and shock apparent in my voice. Alice nodded, confused for a moment until she too gasped.

"No freaking way! He was your doctor in NY? Unbelievable! We were destined to meet Bella Swan, I know it. But the matter is settled then, I'll make sure to ring dad tomorrow and get him to fit you in whenever you'd like to make the trip. I can give you directions or, go with you, if you'd like."

I smiled graciously at my new friend. As much as I wasn't ready to share anything with anyone yet, I appreciated that she was helping me without pushing the subject, and I did need help getting there. So I agreed we would drive together, whenever her dad could fit me in. Alice and I were both eventually pulled back into conversation with the group, and we stayed drinking, talking and occasionally dancing until Mirage closed, wandering out into the Seattle streets around 4am. My clumsiness ended up catching up with me as I stumbled out of the club, probably hindered by my drinking during the evening. But before I could fall completely two strong hands came out and caught me, pulling me up against a hard muscled chest. I knew it was Edward before I turned in his grip to look at him, the fire from his hands on my hips returning. His eyes were burning brightly and I was suddenly lost in them, watching as his eyes darkened and his head slowly lowered...

"Taxi's here!" Emmett's voice echoed through the darkness and shook me from my daze. I pulled myself away from Edward's hands, not wanting to cause a scene on my first night. I shot him a grateful look for catching me, but one that held silent apology for leaving his arms. He smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. As I crawled into the cab I watched him run his hand through his hair again. The alcohol from the night and the cold outside was finally starting to get to me, so I just let myself silently take in the sporadic conversation around me, until Emmett once again brought me out of my daze.

"Edward, you going to your place or Tanya's?"

My heart stopped, and I could feel the burning hot tears about to start falling. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over again, just for tonight. Just for a moment.


End file.
